One Sentence Horoscopes: 3/27
I'm proud to present your last horoscopes of March, read them and weep.
Aries
The last day of Aries season will feel like home to you.
Taurus
Try updating your music taste this week.
Gemini
The worker at the gym doesn't think you're special, they're just doing their job.
Cancer
Go shopping for a new swimsuit this week.
Leo
The frogs have a special message for you, it will be written in code.
Virgo
Working harder won't cure anything, but it is a good bandage.
Libra
Spend more time with trees before the leaves grow back.
Scorpio
Your personal assistant secretly hates you, so does your dog.
Sagittarius
Don't let your brain make you cry, you're stronger than it.
Capricorn
Explore a new shop this week.
Aquarius
Your tastebuds will tell you riddles that no human can.
Pisces
If you don't feel good about your progress, it wasn't progress.