One Sentence Horoscopes: 3/27

I'm proud to present your last horoscopes of March, read them and weep.

Aries

The last day of Aries season will feel like home to you.

Try updating your music taste this week.

The worker at the gym doesn't think you're special, they're just doing their job.

Go shopping for a new swimsuit this week.

The frogs have a special message for you, it will be written in code.

Working harder won't cure anything, but it is a good bandage.

Spend more time with trees before the leaves grow back.

Your personal assistant secretly hates you, so does your dog.

Don't let your brain make you cry, you're stronger than it.

Explore a new shop this week.

Your tastebuds will tell you riddles that no human can.

If you don't feel good about your progress, it wasn't progress.

Missed last week? Catch up here.