One Sentence Horoscopes: 4th of July Edition
As someone who doesn't get super into the 4th, I figured I could celebrate in my own way— with a horoscope. The following are my (completely unprofessional and slightly biased) predictions for how the holiday will look for each sign.
You're going to take the best fireworks photo anyone has ever seen.
Someone will buy your drinks all day long.
Your dog is going to bark all night.
Carry sunscreen on you all day, just trust me.
You're gonna have a fun filled day.
The asymmetry of the fire works is going to make you a little on edge.
This will be a great day for you and a bad day for your enemies.
Be sure to fireproof your house, bad luck seems to find you.
We don't know what you'll be doing, but we know you'll be drinking lemonade while doing it.
Enjoy making time and a half, you silly workaholics.
Be ready for an absurd amount of compliments.
You will be invited to many events, but will be unable to find parking for any of them.