Re-defining Worth

This is the hardest thing I have ever done, but at the same time, the most important.

We live in a world where everything is based on a scale of worthiness. How much money is this purse worth? How many points is this homework assignment worth? How much is an hour of my time worth? It's no wonder we ask the question...how much am I worth?


As a Christian, I find myself constantly turning back to God's word for reassurance of my worth in Him, not in the world, but five minutes out there where it is ugly, and brutal, I find myself beat back down. It is so hard for Christians to change the world around us and get people to see through God's eyes, but it is so easy for the world to change us and bring us back down to feeling like nothing. Finding your worth in God is one of the hardest tasks to overcome, but once you do, it is life changing.


In order to do this, you have to let go. For every negative message you hear, replace it with a positive one. It sounds so silly, but taking out a notebook and writing down two or three good things about yourself will change your life. Read scripture more than you read online comments, one of them is going to leave you fulfilled and loved, while the other is a temporary high based on status or outward appearance.


Social media is a killer, I've been there. Obsessed with the numbers, how many likes did I get, how many people are following me, and oh my gosh, who unfollowed me? I have to unfollow them back. It's draining. Recently I went through all of my social media, and unfollowed anybody who's content was not healthy for me (pessimistic, sparks jealousy/comparison) and removed people from my following list that I felt had no business keeping up to date with my personal life. A few people were shocked when they found out I actually deleted followers, but it has been great for me. Now I know the people seeing my posts and interacting with them, are people I love and that will uplift me.


Another thing I had to let go of was my appearance. For years I have been obsessed with how I look, and let me tell you, being someone who is obsessed with appearance but hates makeup, tanning, hair coloring and all those other things, is hard. I had to weigh out what I would rather do: be myself and fake self-love until it turned real, or be someone I hated, covered in makeup, tanning and coloring my hair, but feel pleased with the way I look. Now, there is nothing wrong with people who do those things and find joy in them, but it is not my jam. After getting rid of makeup and embracing my flawed skin and allowing my hair to grow out from the color I've put in it (seriously my roots are baaaad) I have learned to accept myself and not be ashamed of how I look.


Back to earlier, with the social media buzz. I ditched numbers. I could not tell you how many likes my last Instagram picture got, and frankly I don't care to know. I also said sayonara to my scale quite some time ago. I will never find joy in the number on a screen, whether it be my phone, a scale, the number of calories burned on a treadmill or the amount of money in my bank account, I have better things to worry about. The only numbers I am interested in associating with at this time are my school ID number and my social security number, any other number will not reveal anything about me.


Stop trying to impress people. Seriously, if someone is not taken away by your hilarious jokes and insightful advice, ditch them. You are only going to feel worse if you bend over backwards trying to get someone to like you, just to find they never will. Instead, focus that energy on the people who have already proven themselves loyal to you. You do not have to be the prettiest, or the smartest or the wealthiest person in the room, you just have to be you. Those who are on the same energy level as you, will see that and be drawn to it. God created you 100% as you are, there is no point in trying to alter it to please others, would you dare try to edit the work of the One who created sunsets, stars, oceans, and you (in His image)?


There is no need to put unnecessary pressure on yourself, what are you trying to prove? You have won God's love from the second you were born. There is nothing better to achieve than that. To be totally transparent, I did nothing today. I woke up for church, then it was cancelled, so I got back into bed and proceeded to scroll through Reddit, all. day. I felt so crappy about it, until I realized I do not have to work my butt off 24/7, I am allowed to slow down, take time off and enjoy life. So are you.


If you try to find your worth in worldly things, you will be beaten down and fail miserably, but when you find your worth in God, nothing will stop you and your life will begin.



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